You Think You Know Her

by , under Fiction Prompts, Friday Fictioneers

She stared down into the lobby, all color drained from her face.

“What is it?”

She shook her head, sipped the last of her chardonnay from the plastic cup.

“Nothing,” she smiled. “Let’s go back. Second act will be starting soon.”

I felt her tension all through the second act.  She seemed to be looking around while pretending she wasn’t.

“Are you all right?” I whispered.

The woman behind us said “Shhhhhh!”

She gave my hand a squeeze.

She was standing the moment the lights came up, moving toward the aisle, excusing herself.

I watched her disappear into the lobby.

 

Friday Fictioneers

  1. jillyfunnell

    An intriguing tale – whoever she saw it was obviously a shock. I felt the tension of her having to sit through the second act when all she wanted to do was cut and run.

    Reply
  2. Jan Vanek

    Very intriguing indeed. I want to know what she saw and why she’s in such a hurry to leave. I’d imagine, so does her partner!

    Reply
  3. k rawson

    Tense and mysterious story with a tantalizing title. Does he only think he knows her? Or is it about who she thinks she saw? Or maybe both…

    Reply
  4. rochellewisoff

    Dear Josh

    That was certainly a cliff hanger. Great build of tension. The beginning of a larger tale. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
  5. Joy Pixley

    I feel like I’ve been in that lobby at intermission, having that awkward conversation, although you ratcheted up the mystery several notches. Great tension, wondering who she saw, and why they make her so nervous that she won’t even admit it to the narrator.

    Reply
  6. gahlearner

    The title makes it all clear. There’s someone or something in her past she doesn’t want to meet. Great tension and atmosphere.

    Reply
  7. pennygadd51

    Great story, Josh, one of your best, I think. The simplicity of the writing is its power; you get all the little details right. Kudos!

    Reply
    • J Hardy Carroll

      Thanks, Penny. I was really uninspired by the photo and started this with no idea in my head at all. It’s weird how sometimes that produces a decent story!

      Reply
  8. Dale

    For someone who had no idea in your head, you sure found a direction! This was filled with tension and now we’re left wondering just what the heck is going on…

    Reply
  9. Lynn Love

    Wow! What’s her story? There’s a deep, hidden past life she’s lived that her partner knows nothing about. Was she a spy? Is she a bigamist? A thousand tantalising possibilities. Lovely tension throughout, Josh

    Reply
  10. lisarey1990

    This story leaves so many questions. I wonder if she’ll ever tell her partner the secret she holds and lets them help her.

    Reply
  11. Woman walking Max

    Great story- atmospheric- I could feel the tension building up, and left hanging at the ending. Chardonnay in a plastic cup- good detail.

    Reply

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