Isn’t It Odd? – Friday Fictioneers

by , under Fiction Prompts, Flash Fiction

Friends, it’s the Friday Fictioneers flash fiction– following the featured photo.

Photo by Rachel Bjerke

Photo by Rachel Bjerke

“What’s back there? Behind the house?”

Watching her face, I could see what Clifton meant when he said she was shifty. For the tiniest second she scowled at us, then smoothed it away in that realtor’s smile.

“I think it was a barbecue the former owners installed.”

“It’s covered in moss,” said Clifton. “I think it’s a lot older than the house. And isn’t it odd the fountain would be so close?”

The realtor made a fuss of leafing through the listing. “Well, there’s nothing in here about the fountain.”

Little Jordy slipped my hand and ran out to look.


  1. karen rawson

    That’s great, but I’m worried about little Jordy. You’ve captured a lot of intrigue and more in those 100 words. Marvelous, as always.

    • J Hardy Carroll

      I picture a cold white hand reaching out to pull little Jordy into the murky water.

      Or perhaps it’s a body that only he can see.

      Lots of possibilities, none of them nice ;-)

  2. rochellewisoff

    Dear J Hardy,

    This feels like the beginning of a larger story. I, too, am concerned about little Jordy. Well done.



  3. gahlearner

    This place would be irresistible for any kid… and that may just be the intention of the place. This is so full of possibilities…

  4. Caerlynn Nash

    A mystery for someone to solve. I suspect there’s much going on behind this house. Like others have said, nice hook for a longer story (or a follow-up sometime).

  5. Sandra

    Oh dear, I sense it’s all going downhill from here. Full marks for a cliff-hanger of an opening.

  6. bykimberlylynne

    The homeowner’s insurance will be a fortune… lots more for what are deemed “attractive hazards.” Don’t just stand there, go get Jordy back, if you can. Well done.

  7. paulmclem

    I couldn’t work out why a fountain would be so close to what seemed like the wall of a kitchen…so I just ignored it :-) Congrats for tying both parts of the picture together.

  8. Priceless Joy

    Reminds me too much of the ponds on our property when my children will tiny and the fear I had all the time. I hope little Jordie has quick parents!

  9. storydivamg

    Dear Hardy,
    I like the way you tell this one. That realtor is either hiding something or pretty bad at her job. You leave us with just the right amount of mystery.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  10. unwindthechaos

    The mystery fountain, what a great story! I agree with everyone, it does feel like it’s just the point of the iceberg. Awesome job!


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