by , under Fiction Prompts, Friday Fictioneers

Word comes down from our senior officers to prepare for evacuation. We busy ourselves making rucksacks and gathering our belongings. I linger in the room and pry up the floorboard to my hidey hole. One of the cartons of cigarettes is missing. In its place is a small German army musette bag. I open the flap. Inside is my gold Hamilton watch, a combat knife, a compass and a wad of folded bills. There is no note, but I know who left it.

I thread my watch onto a shoelace and tie it around my neck under my sweaters.


Friday Fictioneers

Pressed for time. This is an excerpt from my novel The Ruining Heaven, the story of a World War II bombardier and his experiences in the war. I am currently seeking an agent.

  1. Dale

    Great little excerpt. I can tell you are pressed for time because you don’t usually do typos! (Glad to see I’m not the only one… ;-) )

  2. Lynn Love

    What a great excerpt. Even in this small snippet you have plenty of intrigue and tension to keep us glued to the screen. Really good

  3. Joy Pixley

    Hm, interesting: definitely got me hooked, wondering who had his watch and even more so, why they gave it back. As Rochelle said, tight writing.

  4. michael1148humphris

    Interesting and Intriguing, as the reader I wanted to know more.

  5. goroyboy

    intriguing, I love the “hidey hole”wording. Definitely captures ones imagination. I may have to look up your novel. I love history. Have you ever listened to hard-core history podcast with Dan Carlin?

  6. Michael Wynn

    That’s a very teasing tempter which works on its own as well. I presume he bartered the cigarettes for the things he wanted back to help him escape.


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