She stared down into the lobby, all color drained from her face.
“What is it?”
She shook her head, sipped the last of her chardonnay from the plastic cup.
“Nothing,” she smiled. “Let’s go back. Second act will be starting soon.”
I felt her tension all through the second act. She seemed to be looking around while pretending she wasn’t.
“Are you all right?” I whispered.
The woman behind us said “Shhhhhh!”
She gave my hand a squeeze.
She was standing the moment the lights came up, moving toward the aisle, excusing herself.
I watched her disappear into the lobby.
A lovely little vignette, capped by the clever title. I really liked this piece, Joshua
An intriguing tale – whoever she saw it was obviously a shock. I felt the tension of her having to sit through the second act when all she wanted to do was cut and run.
Very intriguing indeed. I want to know what she saw and why she’s in such a hurry to leave. I’d imagine, so does her partner!
Tense and mysterious story with a tantalizing title. Does he only think he knows her? Or is it about who she thinks she saw? Or maybe both…
Dear Josh
That was certainly a cliff hanger. Great build of tension. The beginning of a larger tale. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I feel like I’ve been in that lobby at intermission, having that awkward conversation, although you ratcheted up the mystery several notches. Great tension, wondering who she saw, and why they make her so nervous that she won’t even admit it to the narrator.
I wonder who or what she saw. Great little piece of intrigue.
Did she get beamed up, Scotty?
Oo-er! She could have had the courtesy to make some excuse!
The title makes it all clear. There’s someone or something in her past she doesn’t want to meet. Great tension and atmosphere.
Great story, Josh, one of your best, I think. The simplicity of the writing is its power; you get all the little details right. Kudos!
Thanks, Penny. I was really uninspired by the photo and started this with no idea in my head at all. It’s weird how sometimes that produces a decent story!
For someone who had no idea in your head, you sure found a direction! This was filled with tension and now we’re left wondering just what the heck is going on…
Oh dear. What did he say? What was she thinking? So many questions in such a short piece of prose. Well done, Josh.
Wow! What’s her story? There’s a deep, hidden past life she’s lived that her partner knows nothing about. Was she a spy? Is she a bigamist? A thousand tantalising possibilities. Lovely tension throughout, Josh
This story leaves so many questions. I wonder if she’ll ever tell her partner the secret she holds and lets them help her.
The past is catching up with her, let’s see how fast she can run. A suitably mysterious tale.
I love the wine in a plastic cup detail.
spooky!
Nice!
Great story- atmospheric- I could feel the tension building up, and left hanging at the ending. Chardonnay in a plastic cup- good detail.
Very nice! You painted the scene very well and left me wanting more. =)
Nicely crafted sense of mystery. I’m not the only one wanting more it seems!