Two upon four of us
Thank God there aren’t more of us
You never escape our kind of poverty, not fully. Nowadays I overhear a woman on the way to the chip stand say she’s starving, see how her bum spills out of her waistband, remembering all them winter days walking to school with my fist bunched into my belly, trying to fool myself into believing there was something in it aside from the hunger that carved me hollow, made my cold bones ache all day, clots of hair in my comb and gaps where second teeth never came in.
Such a raw story, poignant and well told.
Dear Josh,
This has to be the most well written run on sentence since Michael Chabon. A raw picture of starvation and poverty, not to mention the irony of the woman “starving” as she lumbers toward the chip stand. I could picture it even though I tried not to. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Wow! A real punch to the stomach, this one
Absolutely powerful and brutal. Brillaint work, J Hardy
Moving descriptions.
There’s hunger, and then there’s hunger. Sometimes those fat buts come from a thin childhood. The fear of the empty cupboard will make you do weird things.
Beautifully written story! So moving – thank you.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Great contrasting images.
This ia wonderful, Josh. That image of abject poverty and gnawing hunger feels so real – that fist in the gut, so believable. And yes, the sickening woman ‘starving’ as she lumbers to eat. Just amazing
Very descriptive and tragic. Hopefully his lot is better now.
What a great view of the delicate balance between perceived hunger and actual hunger. Wonderfully captured.
Ouch! That’s some serious poverty. You give it a face, a sensation clawing at the soul. I could feel his pain.
Dismal, but real. The description is great, as is the comparison to the flippancy of the ignorant.
Gosh! That was depressing. Such a powerful portrayal of extreme poverty. Brilliant.
Brutally accurate. Well done.
The run on sentence really works to portray the contrast and irony of it. Superb imagery.
Great piece! There’s “starving” and there’s actual starving.
This is Dickensian in voice and description. Very well done.
Great story, Josh. You capture the voice really well. The whole piece is propelled by a passionate indignation that such things should be. Well done indeed.
Goodness that packs a punch! Really well written.
A great write indeed. The run on sentence just ran with a infuriating sense of anguished urgency that teh story demanded. Superb wiring, Hardy.
I have nothing to say except WOW
This conjures up such vivid images. Well written.
Poverty reaches another dimension when you have such hunger… there are so many layers in this…
Brutal in description. This reminds a Munshi Prem Chandra’s story Kafan (original in Hindi).