I smoke a cigarette as I walk along the Quai Saint-André, cupping it in my hand.
I have always smoked this way. Done everything this way, really.
Concealment.
I watch a grain barge chugging up the St. Lawrence churning brown froth as it passes. I flick the butt into the river and turn back toward the market.
Somewhere in this crowd of tourists she is meeting him now, telling him everything is set.
Telling him she will leave me today.
How I came to know this is unimportant. It is a fact, intractable, unchangeable.
What comes next is anyone’s guess.
Dear Josh,
Something tells me that while it ends today, it doesn’t end well. Tight writing. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks! I was sort of at a loss, so I just wrote whatever came to mind. Glad you liked it.
Sometimes that makes for the best story. ;) A good way to break the mental log jam.
I like the style you’ve chosen for this story, a cramped, clandestine style for a cramped, clandestine anti-hero. I have a feeling that his lover will not immediately come to harm; he will use his (excellent) sources of information to keep track of her, and he will lacerate himself poring over the minutiae of her life. It would make a cracking start to a psychological thriller!
The voice is indeed wonderfully concealed, held tight against the wind. Well done
Sounds ominous! Well concealed plan is afoot, I do believe!
Something chilling here – from the opening to the unresolved ending. Great voice.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
I rather liked the style of this, and the open ended ending,
It could go either way, he either has accepted his loss and will move on, or there is something more sinister in that final line. Nice one.
He’s left the door open, which leaves the story on a note of unease. When someone gives oneself permission for “anything” watch out.
I don’t know why I have a Leonard Cohen feel about this… Maybe it’s the Montreal vibe ;-)
I like to think he doesn’t know what he wants to do about it. Yet.
Terrific opening. Loved it. I could have been there, so tightly did you deliver the scenario.
Thanks!
A very interesting scene…
Gorgeously put together.