Pushing

The plane is rolling back from the jetway. Pushing, they call it. We’re going to push.

I watch it, the chill ash of my heart drifting down to fill my entire body like snowfall into an upturned barrel.

I remember my grandmother telling me that it’s bad luck to watch your loved ones leave. “You should say goodbye and then go back to your life.”

My life. What life? My whole world had revolved around my sons. Even after I found out about the cheating, I tried to keep the marriage together for their sake. When that fell apart,  I borrowed fifty thousand dollars for the lawyers and still lost custody. The courtroom drama was bitter and endless and in the end I had my ass kicked.

The plane is on the runway now. They’re probably sitting by the window, waving at me, crying. I can’t cry anymore.

It’s as though I have lost the ability to feel anything but emptiness.

Written in response to The Daily Prompt: Delta. The gender has been changed to protect the innocent.