“You too, Joey?”
“I got nothing against them personally, Jack. I just don’t want to box with them.”
“So that’s it, then? You’re quitting?”
“No. Maybe go to Lopez’s.”
“You boys don’t have a problem with the Spanish, then.” The old man sat back in his chair, the old wood creaking with the weight. Joey could see the ghost of a fighter’s body beneath the thin shirt, the hard-won biceps and pectorals. “I’ll need my speed gloves back. And the shoes.”
The boy stood looking at the ground.
“Anything else?”
“Just that it wasn’t my idea, Jack.”
“I know, kid.”
Dear Josh,
I could see these characters and hear the voices. Tight dialogue. Love the description of the old man.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Such a strong piece of dialogue beyween the two men here and their characters coming through so well. The young man feeling awkward, the older one resigned. And I can see the older man, muscles still like carved wood under that shirt. Great writing Josh
Superb writing. I love everything about this piece and I don’t love boxing. The line …”the ghost of a fighter’s body beneath the thin shirt, the hard-won biceps and pectorals” is especially genius.
And the title is brilliant!
Palooka was right on the edge of my memory and then I Googled it. I assume you know that Palookaville is both a film and a comic. Great dialogue.
Nice imagery!~It’s as if we’re right there.
This is as clear and sharp as a movie. The dialogue is beautiful. The underlying emotions insinuate themselves into the reader. Excellent writing, Josh.
Thanks!
Like watching a movie or gritty TV program. You said so much in so few words.
I think I know just who Joey is talking about. Sounds a lot like the 1970s right there. The feel of it… Well done!
LIke all great stories, you make the spaces between the words work. I think thois has to be one of your best
Thanks!
[…] hosted by our gracious host Rochelle Wisoff – Fields. This week’s prompt is from J. Hardy Carroll. Read other takes and enter your own […]
It takes a long time for change to happen. Very well written.
Excellent. Really tight, strong dialogue that creates the characters. It’s like a tiny noir movie on a page.
Thank you very much for the photo prompt this week, Josh. Much appreciated. I must admit I found myself out at sea again this week with the prompt as it’s way out of my league, but I based mine on Australian boxer, Les Darcy, who went to box in America but died suddenly aged 21. I read where you said you were interested in boxing and I thought you’d find this link interesting to a excerpt from a book about Les Darcy which looks at the US boxing scene: http://www.darcy-niland.com.au/LesDarcy.html
Your take was so poignant and moving. i could really sense the characters.
Best wishes,
Rowena
Great story! The tension and emotion – palpable. The description of Jack – so powerful. I loved this!
I think this is one of your best. So beautifully understated. In every respect.
This was perfect.
Excellent writing. This story has a mood that is palpable. I felt like I was standing there watching the scene.
Well done. I like how you get the point across subtly. Excellent dialogue.
Love the dialogue… Especially who “they” might be.
A little slice of reality
Reads like a scene from The Wire or something similarly gritty. The only thing I didn’t get is, who are ‘they’, which obviously has been left open-ended. Women, maybe?
There’s a lot left unsaid there but all too obvious. Nicely done!
You drew us a great image, then left it for the reader to decide who ‘they’ where. Great writing.
I like the dialogue. took me a while to understand who was who but since everyone’s speaking so well it wasn’t a bother.
Great dialogue and “ghost of a fighter’s body” is such a lovely way to put it.
[…] Source: J Hardy Carroll […]
great story. it’s like a scene from the movie.
Sad but so realistic.
You certainly put the reader in place. It was as though I was a fly on the wall listening. Great dialogue and demonstration of the power of peer pressure.
There are so many tough decisions in life which help us learn and grow. This is one of them. Well done.
HA HA … you brought back a lot of memories for me with this story, JHC.
My dad used to make-believe punch a friend in the arm while calling him a big Palooka.
My dad was a big fight fan. As a child, I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be a boxer. It looked painful to me. Anyway … enjoyed your story and thanks for the photo prompt.
Isadora
Nicely done through dialogue. Point made ~ simply ~ by Jack.