Impressed and unafraid, she walked right to the edge and looked over, returned to me smiling.
“How long have you known about this place?”
I shrugged. My brother used to take me up here, but I didn’t want to say that because the next thing she’d ask those questions:
You have a brother? Are you close? What’s his name?
and then get around to
How did he die?
and the worst
Are you okay?
It was so nice up here, the sun going down. She looked so pretty, hair in the wind and all.
I didn’t want to spoil it.
Remarkable amount of story in 100 words. Bravo!
Those well intended, but horrid questions. After a while, one just answers on auto-pilot, ignoring those confused looks that mistake desperation for indifference. Nicely delivered.
Dear J Hardy,
Sight, sound and emotion. You had me in the moment. Very well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Nicely layered story. Well done.
I love the story, a lot said in so few words.
Sometimes you want to put off talking about heavy things and just be in the lighter moment of today. But what a hopeful sign, that he brought her here, to his special place. Powerful piece.
I loved that – and it’s true, we don’t always want to share our memories.
Some things are better left in the past… at least until the right time. Few words, big story.
There is just something wrong with me that I expected him to push her off the platform/cliff.
I’m writing a really violent novel, so I needed a break from that. If you like, you can say the brother jumped off the building. That should satisfy the macabre craving.
You feed the malevolent aspect of my soul, what can I say?
I know exactly what he is talking about. Those bloody questions that are well-intentioned.
Well done!
This is an extraordinary piece, and some wise self-editing from the protagonist.
You capture the awkwardness of compassionate questions. Well done!
wow. nice job allowing us to fill in the blanks.
Touching and well done.
Randy
Nice character development in just 100 words!
Well told. You hooked me with this character and his secrets almost immediately.
Definitely requires you to read between the lines.
I too detect a sinister undercurrent in this dialogue – I love the ambiguity. Great scene building.
It takes time for a relationship to get to those ‘heavy’ questions… But to put them off too long develops a trust issue. What an unwelcome balancing act!
Really like this. Strikes a chord as I always used to dread the ‘how’s your dad?’ question when my father was ill.
Also keen on writing fiction to photos. Do a bit myself.