Here’s another one of these flash fiction pieces. The details are here if you’re interested. A hundred words based on this picture.
“They’re wrong for each other.”
This comment was no surprise. She’d been building up to it all during the drive, pulling apart her old friendship the way a bored cat will with a dead bird.
“She’s your best friend, Stella. She’ll still be your best friend.”
Her eyes flashed. “You think that’s what I’m talking about? That I’m losing my friend? Jesus. Typical. You always need to make these things about you.”
He looked past her, toward the bar tucked amongst tall glass cases of brightly-lit crystals.
Who the hell holds a wedding reception at the Exxon Hall of Minerals?
Nicely captured moment in time. All kinds of things bubbling below the surface.
Champagne, probably!
She sounds like a fun person. :)
Captures that spirit of weddings that seems to bring out the best and the worst in people… (And that’s only the dancing.)
I think he might have got it right, and that’s why she’s so cross with him. Agreed – a weird place for a wedding reception!
I like this – the end line was definitely what made it for me!
I think the exxon hall of Mineral would rock :-) Love the how she was pulling apart her old friendship the way a bored cat will with a dead bird.
Loved everything, but did wonder at the way the girlfriend jumped down her boyfriend’s throat. One comment in particular struck me as telling: “You always need to make these things about you.” It almost makes it sound like their relationship is the one in trouble. She’s projecting what she feels about her own partner, maybe?
You got it. They are the happily married couple going to her best friend’s wedding. She is so upset by this reminder of her own crushed dreams that she lashes out. The husband’s finding the bar immediately is a good indicator of things to come. Four stars for a perceptive reading of a very few words.
One hopes this isn’t autobiographical in nature.
Isn’t everything in one way or another? :-)
Not if you live mostly vicariously.
Took a few readings to figure who spoke first. The non sequitur “all about you” tells all we need to know about Stella’s character.
It actually would be a pretty cool place to have a wedding reception–although you might have to strip-search the guests at the end of the evening just to be sure no valuables went missing.
I like this story, Hardy.
All my best,
Marie Gail
I like this comparison, too: “pulling apart her old friendship the way a bored cat will with a dead bird.” I also like imagining having a wedding reception in a hall of minerals, although if people got too drunk, it could be a huge problem!
janet
Dear j. Hardy,
Totally believable dialogue. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. It seems that both of them are making it about themselves. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear J. Hardy, Good story and I think they are both headed for a split. She seems so oddly mad at him for little reason and he is irritated at her. I love the bird and the cat comment – great – just great! Nan :)
This couple has a problem. I love the way you used this prompt, and the bird-and-cat phrase, too. Great story!
I’ve attempted to answer your rhetorical question, “Who the hell holds a wedding reception at the Exxon Hall of Minerals?”
Made me laugh. Perfect verbal exchange.
DJ
Bored cat – dead bird: lovely. Is it your?
Great dialogue and from now on I refuse all wedding invitations.
Yeah, all the stuff is original. Would be too stressful if I was plagiarizing! Glad you like it. Thanks.
Nicely done dialogue. You can feel all kinds of things underneath the surface. The boyfriend doesn’t have a clue.
Love this but I am a little confused as to who said “You always need to make these things about you.” Your punctuation indicates these are Stella’s words but my instinct tells me they have come from her partner.
They’re Stella’s. That’s the biggest indicator of something seriously wrong in the marriage. Thanks for the comment.
Oh aren’t they the happy couple?! Great attitudes to take to a wedding…
Enjoyed this one, Hardy.
Ellespeth