A hundred fathoms down, the sun looks like a ten-watt porch light.
The suit, which felt so heavy on the surface, is now a second skin–except the boots, which seem even heavier. You move slowly on the bottom, breath loud in your ears as you clomp through the ooze like the giant in The Brave Little Tailor. Strange creatures dwell at that depth, pale and blind with bodies misshapen by the pressure.
You never forget possible death all around. The suit gets torn, the hose snags. A thousand things.
At a hundred fathoms, your blood would fizz like soda pop.
I like the description, but I wanted an ending
Think I’m with Neil on this one. Enjoyed the build up but felt a bit like it just ended in mid-flow.
Thought about making one of the tragedies actually happen, but I like to let you write the next chapter yourself. A hundred words is just a few brush strokes. If either of you are interested in reading longer work, I’d be happy to send you a free ebook of my first novel. It’s set during the WW2 bombing campaign in Europe and has plenty of detail as well as a fair amount of harrowing action.
From what I read, the reality of deep sea salvage diving is actually fairly boring because of all the safety precautions. Checking, rechecking, triple checking. Yawn ;-)
Dear J Hardy,
You made me feel like I was there.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I felt an old time divers mind at work, nicely penned. Mike
Very accurate description of being underwater. The fizzy blood sounds painful.
Love the last line.
I kind of like that you left us hanging…
Fantastic atmosphere and descriptions.
Loved this:
” Strange creatures dwell at that depth, pale and blind with bodies misshapen by the pressure.
…
At a hundred fathoms, your blood would fizz like soda pop.”
Great descriptive writing. It seems you’ve experienced this stuff?
Nicely written!
This was great. So descriptive. The first sentence in particular was a delight.
Intense.