Maybe I Always Knew


He’s not coming out. Not tonight, anyway.

I must have known. I think I did, anyway. It’s such a cliché. Late nights. Straight to voicemail.

I haven’t told anyone. Not my sister, not my mom. What would they say? Tell me that they saw it right away, that they saw what kind of man I was marrying? Did they?

Holy crap. It’s raining buckets now. I couldn’t drive through this even if I wanted to.

The windows are fogging. I wonder if this looks suspicious. A rainy motel parking lot, the windows steamed solid.

A man alone in a car.



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  1. Joy Pixley

    I had to read it twice to figure out why he was meeting his husband at a motel, then… Oh, poor guy. He’s not the one his husband is meeting. Really powerful emotional imagery, of being trapped in a car in heavy rain, feeling stuck and powerless as the sky cries, embarrassed or worried that anyone might see him — such a great parallel to what’s happening with his relationship. Well done.

  2. gahlearner

    Poor man. That kind of pain is the same for everyone, no matter the combination. I like the mixture of ‘man in car, alone’ and ‘married that kind of man’. It’s making the feelings human, not gender- stereotypical.

Don't just stand there.