You ever stop to think that your whole life might hang on a decision you don’t actually decide? That your fate, everything that will happen to you from this point forward, hangs from a thread no thicker than a spider’s web?
Of course you don’t. Nobody does. You go through you day on automatic pilot, drive to work, drive to the store. You’re thinking about your mortgage or a dream you had or screwing the checkout girl at the grocery. You make a million decisions without knowing, each one leading to the next, each one building up to something you hope is good.
And then something happens, something real. Something bad. Time slows down and you’re all of a sudden paying close attention. When something bad happens that can’t be undone, the first thing you want to do is find out why. Blame somebody. Blame yourself, probably. And you’re right to do so, because who is this all happening to, anyway?
This is what I thought about when I got the call about Jen. This is all I ever think about, now and forever. I was going to put on the snow tires when she got home. That morning I was just too busy. I got held up. I ran out of time.
Your life is made the tiny moments and decisions you don’t notice. When you say goodbye to somebody, it might be for the last time.
Good to remember that.