Any Saturday

by , under Life Itself

mary-shipman1

May closed the cash drawer.

It would not close.

“I thought Henry fixed this,” she called to the back of the shop.

“He did,” answered Joy. “Which means it’s broke in a new way. I call it Henry fixed.

She came behind the counter, bumped May out of the way with a friendly hip. “You got to lift it up a little, like so.”

The drawer slid neatly in and closed with a little ringing sound that made May smile.

“It didn’t do that before.”

Joy shrugged.

From the back of the shop  a child wailed.

May looked up sharply.

 

Friday Fictioneers

    • J Hardy Carroll

      The piece is more about showing the friendship of the two women than showing any sort of plot. This could go any direction. My original idea was that child was abandoned by a customer, either on purpose or by accident. There are lots of other possibilities. Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear J Hardy,

    I’m with Neil on this one. While the story is fun with the old cash register, the child seems to come out of left field.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
    • J Hardy Carroll

      I thought about taking out one of the other lines to talk more about the child, but I decided to leave this poised midair instead. Who is the child? Why is it crying? Is May imagining it?

      Reply
  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I feel there is a mystery left… it left me wondering… There is a big mystery is “a child” rather than a specific child: It becomes more like a beginning of a larger story. The description of May and Joy is great, and the “Henry Fixed” gave me big smile.

    Reply
  3. Graham Lawrence

    I rather like where you went with this and I’m not disturbed but rather intrigued by the wailing child.

    Reply
  4. Mike

    This made me think of the Television program ‘Open all Hours’. And being just a snippet in time. Enjoyed it as that. Mike

    Reply
  5. Sandra

    Yes I’m afraid my mind went the same way as Caerlynn. Glad I wasn’t alone in that… 🙁 I liked it, whatever it means.

    Reply
  6. Lynn Love

    What a lovely little scene. You’ve shown the relationship very well and clearly – that friendly familiarity jumps from the screen. A great take on the prompt.

    Reply
  7. Dale

    I’m with Caerlynn and Sandra… and so very glad it was not!
    The camaraderie between the women was nice

    Reply
  8. gahlearner

    I also like the idea of ‘Henry fixed’ but you had me guessing at the end, how that fixing made the child wail from the back, where Joy was earlier, maybe the ring of the cash register…? LOL. Until I read the comments. The interaction is great.

    Reply
  9. Margaret

    Great dialogue. You took me right into the characters’ world. The ending added another dimension that had me imagining all sorts of possibilities. I think this is a superb use of the 100 word format.

    Reply

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